It’s incredible to me that our LORD prays for us, the One Who created us with a word and Who died for us to give us His righteousness… Jesus Christ is praying for me!
If you’re like me, you wrestle from time to time to find joy and clarity for each moment, confidence that Christ is real and I can know His good pleasure even in my moments of being extra aware of my weakness and unworthiness.
To get more specific about my own walk with God and desire to serve Him along with my family to the fullest, I’ll give you all an update. Carrie and I came to California to be near family and to live out the Gospel of Christ in our “homeland”. We wanted to respond to God’s love for us and all of the care we received from amazing believers in Northern Virginia, the sowing into our marriage and encouraging of our souls to seek God with all we are.
When we got here, we started a company in Merced, CA – an insurance and financial services firm I run four days a week. This has been a three year project as of this month. What a joy really when all is said and done. I get exhausted at times to be completely frank, with the commute and time away from Carrie during my three days in-person at the office. Also, I’m re-engaging and seeking to really double (figuratively) my efforts down in Merced to balance off from my initial years of investing in the firm. Now I need to pay down business debt and turn a steady profit so as to feed my family long-term. Along with this, and more stressful I think, is my wife’s seeking to keep her head above the water during my days away. It’s much like being a fire fighter family I would guess. Except, when I’m home, so far since we moved back to Tuolumne County, I’ve sought to pour into grassroots ministry activity. Anyone who knows us well knows that I lean toward full-time ministry in my behavior and yet am stubborn about wanting to make bi-vocational ministry work where I don’t need support – stubborn or foolish… not sure. Either rate, at this point in our lives we are tapped and tired, but aware of God’s provision.
When I look at our nation, I long to see men and women go through this wrestle before the LORD. I long to see us waiting on God for His direction and pressing into His good intensions for our lives. I don’t mean to imply that we are the best example of this, but the pressure and leaning into Him is ultimately so refreshing and real and raw. I want this for my friends. We have to be open to risk-taking and weariness and good stress at times in our following of God. I realize that one day I may be involved in full-time or part-time ministry of some kind in a more formal sense, but what I love about this season (the last nine years of marriage… long season) is that “ministry” isn’t defined as paid.
We all are “in ministry” if we are following Christ as His apprentices, His disciples. May we press into Him and know His good pleasure in the midst of what He has given us as life. May we find Him in every moment of our day and be aware of Christ praying for us and God’s Holy Spirit working through us to love those in our lives.
Thanks for hearing out a little testimony, friends. Please pray for us and God’s continued direction for us as a family, and send me an email as to how we can be in prayer for you and yours – firstname.lastname@example.org.
In His holy grace,